Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Boldover Citizen assignment - tip death

A man died on Sunday after a confrontation outside Boldover rubbish dump escalated due to long queues to enter.

Sixty-four-year-old Harry Hampton, of Pepper Road, was taken to hospital by his partner, Barbara Richards, 56, after a man allegedly walked to Mr. Hampton’s car and broke his arm. He later died in hospital.

The conflict occurred after two thirty minute queues formed at the entrance of the site. According to Police, Hampton’s alledged attacker apparently bent his arm back against the side of his dark blue Volvo estate.

In a statement released by Boldover hospital, Hampton was brought to them early on Sunday afternoon, and “treated for a broken arm and a cracked rib and died from heart failure six hours later”.

In a police statement regarding the incident, police revealed that they are looking for a driver of a silver BMW in his forties.

Detective Inspector Helen Havers said “We are appealing for witnesses and making a direct appeal for the BMW driver to come forward and speak to us as soon as possible.

“He is described as white, 5ft 7 or 8 inches tall, of stocky build, clean shaven and possibly wearing glasses”.

Mr. Hampton’s neighbour, Susan Witchard, 67, said she is devastated by the incident: “He was a real gentleman and used to put my rubbish out for me every Wednesday. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Mr. Hampton and Ms. Richards were off loading unwanted possessions in preparation for him moving into her house in Broxham.

Police added: “It’s a tragic incident. It’s particularly poignant as this couple was having a clear-out to get ready to move in together. Mr. Hampton’s partner is absolutely distraught.”

Consultant clinical psychologist, Toby Norris, at Daring Hospital, Mornbury, said cases of road rage related attacks are becoming more and more common in modern day life: “Outbursts of ‘road rage’ and ‘queue rage’ are growing, as life gets more crowded. Verbal arguments can quickly degenerate into physical confrontation.”

He went on to add: “Even in Wishingshire these types of incidents are escalating, as the country becomes more densely populated.”

350 words (exactly).


chris_sayer said...

I knew for this story that making sure a direct accusation was not made as the police had not confirmed that factor.

I feel generally the exercise went well, mainly due to the decent dossier of information that was given.

I decided to use the expert opinion, mainly due to the fact i had a word count to aim for, and needed more words.

Anne said...

Structure: You display a good grasp of inverted pyramid structure here and your intro is tight and includes the key elements of the story. Check the last phrase for sense though -- it doesn’t quite work.

Accuracy/spelling: Again, this contains some spelling errors. Try writing you copy in Word and using the spell check. Otherwise, this is carefully written according to the known facts.

Audience: You have written this appropriately for a local paper.

Quotes: Used well here with the occasional punctuation lapse. Attribute using ‘said’ or ‘added’. No need for ‘he went on to add’. Cut words wherever you can.